Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Diary of a Preggo -- Almost There!

I named this blog post "ALMOST THERE!" for a reason.

I am 31 weeks tomorrow, and the third trimester has not been nearly as kind to me as the second. They said this would happen, actually. All the books said trimester 1 is horrible, 2 is great, and 3 goes downhill fast.

However, I hoped I would avoid some of the woes of trimester three. I thought, I put in my time with all the terribleness of trimester one, right?

I was wrong.

Now, I know this entire blog I've sounded like a major whiner -- not much like my normal "optimist" personality. But to be honest this is the only outlet I have to do it. My hubby is probably incredibly tired of hearing about all my issues. He often asks "what can I do," and I never have an answer. Much of it there is no solution to. And although people are constantly asking me "how are you feeling," I'm sure they don't actually expect me to list all my negative symptoms to them. I hate to sound like a complainer.

So, I am grateful to be pregnant but I am more grateful to be ALMOST THERE, because at this point I'm pretty sure birth is the only thing that will provide me with relief.

The past week and a half the sciatica nerve pain in my buttocks that I had in the first trimester has now flared up to about twice the pain level of before. Basically my uterus is pushing on my sciatic nerve, making it and the muscles around it flare up in pain. It can start in your back and run completely down your legs, but thank God I don't have the leg part. The pain can hit you anywhere on the nerve path. Mine is in a weird spot, like the part of my lower back/hip/pelvis bone at the top part of my butt. Sometimes it's worse in one side or another and sometimes it's painful on both sides. It hurts the most when bending over and twisting. Right now it is so painful that, upon standing up after bending over to shave my legs in the shower, I experienced such a traumatic shooting pain that I screamed. Loudly. It's getting harder to walk.

Tylenol takes the edge of the pain, but does not eradicate it by any means. Every time I have to bend over (and you'd be surprised how often you do that in a day - brush your teeth, grab something out of bottom of fridge, tie your shoes, get something out of a cupboard, etc.) I have to brace myself and I dread it to the point of avoiding bending over, even if I need something. Of course, being pregnant and clumsy I drop things all the time so this does not help at all. It honestly feels like someone stabbed or shot me in the butt. That's the only way I can explain it.

I feel like I now understand what it's like for people who live with chronic pain. They must be angry and depressed all of the time, because that is honestly how I've felt. I feel helpless, and the worst part of it is that it's keeping me from staying active. I've been doing so good keeping up my exercise routine, and now I'm in so much pain that I can't fathom even sitting on a stationary bike for a little cardio.

 Last week I went for a swim (which is supposed to be good for sciatica) and it didn't hurt while I was doing it, but later that evening it hurt much worse. Walking also makes it worse. Walking and swimming are supposed to be the best exercises for pregnant women. The less I work out, the more weight I gain, which depresses me even further. I can't win.

I miss working out. I miss my old body. I miss running the most. I can't wait to run again.

Today I packed a bag and had planned to try and go to the gym. Instead the pain got worse throughout the day. I came home, laid on the couch on the side that doesn't hurt as much, put a pillow in between my legs, and closed my eyes until the Tylenol kicked in, just so I could get up and help make dinner. I was close to tears. I then took a hot bath, and it was the only 15 minutes in the past two days that I didn't feel constant pain. A few minutes after getting out of the bath, the pain was back (a tiny bit better though).

I have a physical therapy appointment tomorrow morning (which took two days of phone calls and paperwork to set up due to referral paperwork and people being out of the office), but honestly I'm not that optimistic about it. The stretches the therapist gave me to do the first trimester are no longer working. It seems to be my doctor's only solution. We'll see if she has any more tricks up her sleeve. If not, the next step is acupuncture or a chiropractor, which I've never really believed in. At this point though, I'm willing to try anything. I only have about two months to go, but two months with constant pain is two months too long.

I can deal with heartburn, fatigue, and swollen ankles (all of which has hit me this trimester); but constant pain, that I can't deal with.

And, my whining is done for the day. Thank you :)

On a positive note, we went to our birth class last weekend and got a tour of the hospital's birthing suites. All my questions got answered, and I honestly feel really good about it. I'm looking forward to the birth. I can't wait to meet her, and tell her all about these 9 months of sacrifice ; )

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