Introduction

Have you ever been down, plagued by doubts, insecurities or habits of the mind that seem to follow you around?

Ever felt like no matter what you do, you are always running from Mara?

Well, I've been there. That's why I'm sharing how I've learned to live with Mara and love my life regardless of what goes on around me. (Look to the right for what "Mara" is)

I should explain a little about why I've taken this journey of defying Mara. I've recently struggled with some major life changes and the subsequent emotional, financial, and at times physical & safety problems that accompanied them. I won't get into details due to legalities, but let's just say that it was a horrifying time, and I struggle with it to this day. But it's changed me and made me who I am -- someone I am proud of, someone who is much stronger than she was.

So who is she?

She is a young woman who laughs in the face of change (like the above pic, although that is NOT me), and in fact she reacts back to change things even more. Defying Mara is similar to making lemonade out of life's lemons, or knowing how to play the cards you've been dealt. And it's about accepting the fact that we will all get lemons and bad hands sometimes. It's about using this to our advantage rather than running from our fear, or our personal Mara.

It's important that I give credit to Tara Brach, author, Buddhist teacher and clinical psychologist. I first heard of the concept of Mara and "inviting Mara to tea" a couple of years ago from Brach and her incredible books, podcasts and guided meditations. If it wasn't for her, as well as Jon Kabat-Zinn, (also Buddhist author/teacher), my family, friends, faith and hope, I really don't think I would have pulled through the tough times with my sanity intact. There are many different translations on what exactly Mara is, but I use Mara the way Brach does, explained in my welcome at the top right. I wouldn't say that I am a "Buddhist" or fit in any other strict religious category, although I was raised Catholic. On a side note, I should mention that Buddhism was never meant to be a religion and the Buddha himself never claimed to be a God. It is just a way of living. Many practice it because it is healing. It has only recently gained popularity in the western world. I wrote a research paper on the healing process of Buddhist practices such as meditation in my first masters level class in 2008. I am still reading and learning about the many inspirational Buddhist concepts. I won't call myself an expert because Buddhism itself has depths upon depths of historical concepts, but I will say I once checked out every book the Indiana University library had on it (17+) and read them all, in addition to all of Brach's and Kabat-Zinn's books and guided meditations. So at least I can claim to be well-read on the topic. I've gotten pretty good at meditation as well. (Which, by the way, if you do right is really friggin hard!) Because of my Catholic gradeschool roots, I will also be sharing some other healing concepts that are similar to defying Mara, but with a Christian slant.

Basically, I am a spiritual person who believes in God and keeps faith as my foundation. I also love to learn and delve into things that peak my interest.

I am sure there are many thousands of people in tough situations right now, which is part of the reason I've decided to share what I've learned. My ex-husband once called me a "hopeless, hopeless optimist" (hence, the tagline at the top of this blog). Not sure if he meant it as a compliment (probably not, given the context of the conversation we were having and the fact that it is a complete oxymoron), but I took it as a compliment, and I am proud of it, because this personality trait is needed to overcome adversity. But I want to make it clear that I am human and have weakness, depression, and uncertainty just like everyone else. I've learned to counter these times with my optimism, all the while re-negotiating the terms of my life when facing change. In other words, I've learned to accept the change and even accept my weak moments, and in the process I've learned how to defy Mara.

This blog will be somewhat of a way to continue my healing journey, but I want to reach out to others on their journey. I will also be posting other resources similar to the defying Mara theme. I should also mention that I am a writer at heart, and I love to write and read poetry. I recently become close with a friend who I knew for a short time. As change goes, this time was shorter than I'd hoped. But he taught me how to share my poetry, something I've never done before. So, I am going to try and continue that here and will be posting poetry that may have something to do with defying Mara.